The artistic wizard Salty has written a post on his website titled Do Words Offend You? I think he asked some great questions, so I'm going to do my best to answer them here.

"When and how do people actually become conditioned to be offended by certain words?"

It's a great question. I can only answer from personal experience, and I can say that in the few years after I became a christian, somehow it hurt me to hear certain words! It's the most bizarre thing you can imagine. I don't understand it myself. All I know is that whenever I hear someone swearing it makes me wince. Similar to seeing someone hurt themselves. It's something that gradually happened over time, so gradually I barely even noticed it.

It's not like someone taught me to be like this - after all even if you did tell someone "you should be offended by this and feel a certain way when I say these words" - it wouldn't work. You can't teach someone to be like that.



Did I learn this at school? I don't think so... my high school friends tell me that I used to swear like a trooper. We all did. Did I learn it at home? Possibly. I was definitely taught not to swear - but really that just made it even more enjoyable. Maybe my sensitivity to swearing has finally burst into my conciousness after 25 years of swimming around subconciously in my brain as a vague "actually you're disappointing your parents" feeling. I dunno.

I have heard lots of people saying that "offence to swearing will dissappear over time", but based on my own experience I don't think this will happen. Some people seem to think that 100 years ago "people swore less" but I have yet to see any proof of that. Reading books set during world war 2 there was definitely no lack of swearing!

I am in a peculiar situation myself at work, where I am affected by swearing but lots of the people swear. People are actually really good about it - if you let them know that you don't like it, they genuinely make the effort to stop, and I love it when they do. What's difficult is not coming across with a "holier than thou" attitude. Asking someone to not swear can very easily come across as "hey, I don't swear, I'm better than you, at least you could try to stop swearing when you're around me, because hey, I'm awesome, and you're an uncivilised moron who can't express themselves properly. I'm also more attractive".

I can also imagine that from the other person's point of view it would be infuriating! Why would these people care about certain words? Why does a letter in one spot make such a difference to these ficking idiots? How dare they impose on me their own world view of what's right or wrong and force me to do it?

I don't expect people to understand, and nor do I expect them to stop swearing. How can I expect someone else to do what they don't understand or agree with? All I can do is ask them (if they wouldn't mind) to not swear when they are around me, and if they are reasonably mature and have learnt to see things from someone elses point of view (age helps here) then they normally give it a go. If not, then there's nothing I can do, and I can't blame them for it. I won't hold it against them or think any less of them.

This is an interesting topic for me because I play in a band. I feel that my integrity is weakened by playing with groups that swear all the time. Not the best reflection on me and makes me look like a hypocrite! I have certainly played in other bands that sang about all manner of things that I wasn't happy with - and I made the right decision to quit. But really, if someone (that I know) is swearing, it's not my fault. I've said all I can and from then on that's their responsibility. I don't endorse it, I didn't record it. It's a balancing act I guess, and if things changed then I'd have to reconsider my situation.

What I find funny though is when people say "Jesus" as an exclaimation, and then find out I'm a christian. Mostly they get a surprise.. and then apologise! But it always surprises me that they are surprised! Personally I find people shouting "Jesus" as an insult so much more offensive than anything else, but I've gotten used to people not noticing, caring or even thinking about it. A shame I guess.

Oh and my the way, I still swear. I'm not perfect. I enjoy it. Do I think God wants me to swear? No I don't. Why? I have no idea, but I have learnt that God loves us and knows what's best for us (try getting your head around that) - and I've learn to trust that he knows what he's doing. I guess that if you can say that there is a possibility that a moral God might exist, finding offence at swearing isn't quite so bizarre.